Thinking TAPS

This is a bit scary, but you'll just have to deal:  Today in the shower (okay, the scary part is over now), I got to thinking.  I think a lot in the shower. Sometimes, it's the only time I get to be alone.  Well, I got to thinking about my family and friends.  Today, October 25, would have been my brother's 25th birthday.  That's his 5th birthday since he was killed in Iraq, but I digress.  Anyway, my family and friends have been so kind, posting birthday wishes to him and warm thoughts for me and the rest of our family.  It got me thinking about my other friends that have suffered the loss of a sibling.

I can't actually fathom how many people I know that have lost a sibling.  One to drugs, one to cancer, one to a car accident, one to a fire, a motorcycle accident, medical mistake, suicide, and of course, due to war.  I can't even believe how many of us are out there, hurting. And then, I felt comforted to know that I am not alone, but even more comforted by the fact that T.A.P.S. is out there for family that have lost someone that was serving our country.  I've been so fortunate to meet others in my area and around the country that have felt the same things I have felt, and experienced the same reactions that I have.  What I mean is essentially this; because my brother was killed in a war, some people have felt compelled to share their political thoughts and views when offering their condolences.  I also sometimes feel as if my brother and his fellow fallen are used as game pieces in this world of politics in which we live.

All of this, though, is not where I was going with this.  What struck me was that I do have all these friends that have suffered the loss of a sibling, a sibling that was not in the military.  What organizations do they have?  I'm sure there are a few, but do any of them actually reach out to the survivors?  I'm not sure.   It did though, make me feel an extra bit of sadness for them.  Sadness that they may not have been able to find the camaraderie and support that I have been able to find.  A group of people that share their experiences (non-family members) in seminars, through the media, on-line, and over the phone.  I have been so fortunate to have found them and I now hurt for those that never got to experience that kind of love and support.

We have also been fortunate enough to know that others will always remember him, memorialized in monuments, newspapers, and the hearts of the enormous military family.  We know that many see him as a hero (though others don't, and that's okay, too), and that provides some comfort, occasionally.

I guess I just wanted to share:
a. how crappy it is to have lost a sibling
b. how fortunate I am to have found T.A.P.S
c. how I wish and hope there are organizations out there that reach out to others that have suffered a loss

10/25/1986 - 03/09/2007

For all of my friends that have lost a sibling, no matter what the cause: Thank you for being there to support me and know that I am always here for you as well.  I will never forget the love you have for your brother/sister.  May that love carry your through the hard days and make your happy days even better than imagined.