Q and I went to a function today and witnessed a travesty: at the end of the event, the kitchen staff started throwing away loaf after loaf of untouched artisan bread. Shortly after the shock wore off, I inquired, "you are really throwing all of that in the garbage?"
"Yes."
"Um...can you not do that? I can take that to the Scranton Mission or a soup kitchen or something."
After disappearing for a while, she reappeared with plastic bags. Another guest helped me bag and carry over 13 shopping bags of food to my car, and then I was off. I first stopped at the St. Francis Soup Kitchen where I witnessed a man in a wheelchair, several other guys and one woman, shooting up and drinking in the parking lot. They were being absolutely obnoxious, screaming at each other, slurred speech at 4 in the afternoon. I didn't realize that Scranton had this problem, one I hadn't seen since I lived in San Francisco.
When I got home, I was thankful for all my family has, grateful that, for the most part, we are all healthy and safe from this despair I witnessed. I started to think about the pain that those people must be experiencing, the lack of self-esteem, self-love, if you will. Its as if they hate themselves, so they are punishing themselves. Those thoughts brought me back to the tragedy that just occurred in Aurora.
There, we unfortunately have another case of someone that lacks self-love. His hatred and despair for himself and others didn't cause him to act out like the people I saw today, but instead, caused him to leash out on hundreds of innocent people. Strange, huh? Some people turn that hatred inward, while others turn it outward, towards innocent people. I wonder what causes that? But, I am reminded by what I've heard from so many brilliant friends that remind me that you can not place the confines of logic on people and situations that do not have basis in reality.
We will never truly understand why what happened, well, happened. There really can be no explanation. We should, instead, place our focus in 2 directions. First, in honoring the memory of the victims and helping their families to move forward in the world without them, not to mention, helping the survivors to cope with their new normals.
Secondly, we really need to take a harsh look at our gun laws. Why do we allow such large magazines? Are they necessary? Let's say we don't try to change the Constitution and just work within its confines. One of our problems in this nation is the complete need for overindulgence. Is it not overindulging when we need multiple weapons, automatic weapons, large quantity clips, etc...? Let's ignore big business and the NRA. Let's ask ourselves why the US has more gun fatalities than our other 1st World allies. How do we allow something to purchase 4 handguns in just a few short months? How do is it that we have had multiple school shootings, and now, this? Something needs to change when it comes to the gun laws.
My heart goes out to all of those that are hurting across the nation. May loving and happy memories flood your mind and push the pain aside. May you find comfort in knowing that your loved ones lived full lives and are now at peace, never to feel pain or fear again.
To all of the victims, the images burned in your minds will eventually be replaced with images of hope and happiness. Stay strong and find comfort in knowing that it was simply not your time to leave this earth.
To those that lost their lives, my heart is with you. May you rest in peace as you join the others that have gone before you, including my brother.
None of this makes sense. Not a single bit. I fear for my children, that they must grow up in a world that sees this violence so frequently. I hope this is simply a strange anomaly that ends soon.
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