Eyes wide

Today, okay, officially it was yesterday, but regardless, it was quite a day...eye opening.  I did some CASA work and my eyes were opened to the ways of the system.  I began to simplify my pantry (which for some reason also meant that I felt the need to paint it)...eye opening. And then, the kicker; my family was interviewed by a reporter, Carolyn Davis, from the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Its not the first time we've been interviewed for a story about losing a family member to war, but it was the most informative of them all.  Typically, the reporter will interview one person at a time, to get their story, but since she was running a little late, and we are a big family, Carolyn asked if it were okay to interview us as a group.  Sure, not a problem, I told her, but I warned that she may need to speak to my parents separately. Its not really because I thought it would be uncomfortable for us kids, but because my father has never really been open with us about how Dennis's death has affected him.  I mean, we can see that he is sad.  We can see that he's hurting, but that's it.  There's never any discussion about Dennis that ever involves my dad because he automatically gets up and leaves the room.

So, Carolyn starts the interview with my brothers, A and G, and myself.  The, mom joins in.  We must have been talking for 2 hours when my dad walked into the room, stopped, and then interjected.  I can't even tell you about what, but I can tell you that when I looked up and saw him sharing, I nearly fell over.  He shared some of the ways people and government officials have shown their appreciation, and then shared his views on "the rest".  I sat there, dumbfounded, wondering who this man was that was talking.  I mean, nothing he said surprised me.  It just shocked me that he was actually sharing.  And then, the question, "having served in the Marine Corps, how does it make you feel having lost your son in the Corps."  I have wondered the same thing so many times, like does that bring him comfort, anger, sadness, pride, what?  And there it was, the gentle dad that we rarely get to see.  He kindly just explained that he's not ready to share that yet.  Really, I don't know that he's got that answer yet.  Broke my heart.  But, for just a few moments, I felt like I had my daddy back.

Love you, Dennis! You are forever in our hearts, always on our minds.